The Process...

Our sweet angel we are working so hard to hold!

We have been truly amazed at the support we are receiving from those around us! We need you all to keep rallying around us! This is going to be a long and chaotic process.  But, take a look at that sweet face - it will be worth EVERY SECOND!!

Many of you have asked what the process is like so I am going to do my best to explain.  Now, keep in mind this is still new to me and there are a lot of unknowns for us.  So, please forgive me if I misspeak about a process! We are definitely learning as we go!

After finding our angel, our first step was to officially commit to her.  We had a series of forms we needed to fill out and submit quickly.  During this process we needed to keep our plans relatively quiet.  The country we are adopting from is unique among most countries.  Most countries allow adoptive parents to place a "hold" on a child they are intending to adopt.  Meaning, they will no longer be available for other families to adopt.  Our country does NOT allow this.  What happens is a letter of intent is sent notifying them that they've identified an adoptive family, but this by no means is a 100% guarantee.  Now, it is very, very unlikely that another family would be identified and get their paperwork finalized faster than we can, but it could happen.  She could also, at any time, enter their local foster care system or be adopted by someone locally.  Again, these scenarios are very unlikely, but they're still there.  So, to put it mildly, adopting from this country is a HUGE leap of faith.  One we have complete confidence in making! 

Now, if absolute worst case scenario were to occur and we lost our babe, we would still proceed with an adoption from this country.  We would complete what is called a blind referral.  Basically, when we arrive in country they would present us with 3 kids who we would qualify to adopt and we can choose from those.  Now, the chance of this actually happening are so slim, but we wanted to be upfront with everyone. If you have already donated to our adoption or are considering it, please know that any money you give WILL be applied to the adoption! If we tragically are unable to adopt Treva it would transfer to a new child.  But, like I said, the chances are very slim this will happen.  We are certainly not dwelling on the "what ifs" but daily thinking about what we know is truth at this moment! I've been clinging to this passage:

   Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true...think about such things. (Philippians 4:6-8 NIV)

Now, our next step is to complete our home study by a local agency.  I just spoke with the social worker today and we should have the paperwork in hand by tomorrow afternoon!  I am so afraid of this process.  I just feel like they are coming into my home to judge me as a wife and a mother.  I'm not sure why I'm so scared.  I've done foster care home studies twice and it wasn't a big deal, but I am so anxious this time.  I basically feel like if they don't like me or how I mother they can put a complete stop to our adoption.  I've talked to the social worker about my fears and she has been so understanding, but boy will I be glad when this process is over and all has been approved!

We are also applying for our passports to get those on the way to us.  After that, your guess is about as good as mine as to what we will need to do.  I'm so thankful we have amazing support from our Reece's Rainbow facilitation team and they will walk us through each and every step from here on out!

Once everything is submitted and approved we will get a travel date from the country.  We may have a week's notice to plan or a month's.  There is no way of knowing.  Dave and I will then travel to country for about 2 1/2 weeks.  I'm not exactly sure what will happen at that time.  I do know we will get to spend time with our baby.  We will then come back to the US for about 10-14 days.  I will then head back to the country for another 1-2 weeks to finalize the adoption and bring our sweet girl home! Dave really, really wants to come the second leg of the journey too, but we felt it was more important for him to be home with our other 4 kids and he will need to get back to work.  I'm hoping my mom will be able to join me on the second trip so I won't have to be completely alone!  While both Dave and I are gone we will be relying so heavily on our family to take care of our other kiddos.  It is going to be tough on all of them, but I am so thankfully to have such a supportive and encouraging family to help us out!

Please, if you have any questions or what clarification on the process don't hesitate to ask! We want to be an open book through this journey and will do our best to answer questions! Thanks again for all your early support and encouragement.  Keep rallying with us!

Prayer Requests:

-Pray our home study can be completed in record time.  They typically take 6-8 weeks and even up to 12 weeks.  We are praying for 4 weeks until completion!

-Pray that my heart will settle about the home study process

-Pray for fundraising ideas and opportunities to present themself.

Stacy

Our journey to adopt...

I don't even know where to start with this blog post.  I've attempted to start blogging several times but always came up short.  Well, the journey we are on now needs to be told.  Our daughter needs her story told!  Let me back it up for a bit...

Before I met Dave, I was in the process of adopting a very special little girl.  After we met and quickly were married we had hoped to adopt her together.  Unfortunately that people who made the big bucks and the big decisions didn't think we wanted to adopt such a special child right at the beginning of our marriage.  Now, that is months of heartache in a couple sentences, but in the end, we lost our sweet girl! 

From that point on, we knew we would one day adopt.  It wasn't something we dwelled on or even talked much about.  We went on with our daily lives and waited on the Lord's leading.  We decided to become foster parents and for 4 years had a number of kids ranging from newborn to 17 come through the doors of our home.  Some stayed for weeks and others stayed for 12+ months.  There were a couple we wanted to adopt as our own, but for a variety of reasons those didn't come to fruition either.  We never grew bitter.  Each disappointment only solidified our hearts desire to adopt.  

This spring that Lord really started to move in my heart about adoption again.  Specifically in regards to adopting a child with special needs.  I would search the internet occasionally to learn more about the process.  During one of those times, I came upon a website called Reece's Rainbow.  It is an organization that specializes in placing orphans with special needs.  I looked through the pages and pages of kids and kept coming back to a sweet little girl.  After a few days of not being able to get her out of my mind I talked to Dave about it.  I showed him the picture and we discussed it briefly and then went on about the day.  The next day I mentioned to him that I couldn't get her out of my mind.  I told him that she was the first thing I thought of in the morning and the last thing before bed.  He said he was right there with me.  We went ahead to gathered some more information and asked a lot of questions to the New Family Liaison.  It was a Thursday evening and we had been talking and praying about it a lot.  We decided to wait the weekend and really pray hard and make a final decision on Monday.  Well, Friday morning came.  Dave's alarm went off and he turned to me and woke me up and said "we can't wait until Monday, submit the papers TODAY! Do it this morning!" Now, my husband is an amazing leader and is very strong in his convictions, but it is completely out of character for him to speak with such certainty and with such seriousness.  I said ok (but secretly I was still doubting his conviction and was terrified myself).  I wrote the email that I needed to write to get the official commitment started, but before I pushed send I called him one more time at work.  His convictions were even stronger than early in the morning.  I sent that email and we official committed to our daughter!

Please continue to pray for us and our family!  Over the next little bit I will share more about the process, our hearts in it, and just our day to day lives.  I'm not exactly sure where this blog will go or what it will look like on a day to day basis.  I'm sure it will be ever evolving, just like me! But, I will end each post with a few specific prayer requests.  We just as that as you finish reading please offer up a quick prayer for our family!

Prayer Requests:

-Pray for Treva's safety and health until we can get her home

-Pray our home study can be completed quickly and without issues

-Pray for people who are willing to join our team to bring Treva home to a family and out of a life destined to be lived in institutions!

And he makes 4...

My sweet baby Asher Cole was born on November 5, 2011 at 6:25am.  We weighed 7lbs 8oz and was 20 inches long.  As with all my kids, he did it his way and in his time.  Nothing is ever text book with my pregnancies or births!  We wouldn't even know what to do with that! 

Many of you know that I experience gestational high blood pressures with my pregnancies.  This one was no different.  On November 1, Dave had me call the clinic to report that my pressures were staying up in the 160/100 range.  The doctors sent me to the hospital where we spent a good part of the day.  All my labs came back normal and baby was looking happy on the monitors so they sent me home on bed rest.  Yuck!  A mom of 3 doesn't do bed rest well!  I had another appointment on Friday.  My pressures continued to be pretty unpredictable.  They were spiking at any given time for no apparent reason.  My doctor sent me back over to labor and delivery to be monitored, run more labs, and do an amniocentesis to check lung maturity.  This was around 12:00.  They weren't going to be able to do the amnio until around 4:00.  As I was resting in bed, I started to feel contractions around 2:00.  They just kept coming and getting more and more regular.  I've had this happen before and they usually quit so I didn't think much of it at the time.  At about 4:15 they did the amnio.  I was still contracting quite a bit.  Not too painful, but definitely couldn't ignore them.  They let me walk around a bit because my back was getting so sore just lying in the bed.  This did not help the contractions.  Well, the amnio came back in about an hour and it surprised as all by showing that the babies lungs were not mature.  The doctor did not want me to have the baby quite yet, but the contractions were still coming.  Earlier that morning I was 2 centimeters dilated.  He checked me and I was now 3 1/2 centimeters dilated.  Because my previous birth was a c-section and my ultimate goal was to have a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) he was a little nervous about sending me home with regular contractions and dilating, even though it was slow.  He decided to watch me for another hour or so and check again.  The contractions continued and I was dilated at that point to 4 1/2 centimeters.  I was staying.  We were going to have a baby!! I walked more and a couple hours later they decided to break my water.  I had gone into this delivery thinking I wanted to have a "natural" child birth.  I made it to 6 centimeters and just couldn't do it any more.  It was going so slow and it was so painful so we opted for an epidural.  I've had troubles with epidurals in the past and had had back surgery a year ago so I was kind of freaking out about it, but this one went in like nothing and worked perfectly!  I love that epidural lady!! :)  I don't even know what time it was, maybe 10:00pm when it was all done.  We were expecting those last 4 centimeters to go quickly, but again, why do anything the way it's supposed to be done?  I am so thankful that my OB was eager and willing to do everything possible to help me have a successful VBAC.  With the complications with my other c-section he really didn't want to go that route either!  He very slowly started some pitocin (most doctors won't use this on a VBAC).  It helped, but it was still slow going.  My mom was there so she went home for a couple hours and my sister was there and she went and slept in the call room.  (My sister is a physician and she actually delivered my baby!)  Dave got a few hours or sleep as well.  Me and my nurse just kind of hung out and waited....and waited....and waited.  Finally at about 5 am I started to feel more pressure.  I was now 9 cm.  I called my mom back and woke up Dave (we let my sister keep sleeping for awhile).  At 6:15am it was time to start pushing.  I warned them that this part won't take me long!  My doctor had me do a "practice push" while my sister was getting ready.  I fake pushed.  I really wanted my sister to deliver not him (nothing against him, I really like him, but how cool is it to have your sister deliver your baby!?!)  She was ready to catch.  One push for the head and one more for the shoulders and I was holding my sweet baby Asher!  Being a month early he was having a little trouble breathing.  Any touch or stimulation sent his respiration rate to over 100 per minute.  We opted to just watch him closely for about an hour to see if he could transition on his own.  But, after about an hour or hour and a half our doctor made the call to NICU.  They came in and immediately took him to the NICU.  They could see he was starting to tucker out from working so hard.  He was hooked up to CPAP to help him breath and they ran some tests.  His white cells came back elevated indicating a probable infection.  They started him on some antibiotics and would watch carefully.  This was all very hard on momma!  I cried a lot and it broke my heart to not be able to hold him.  Our wonderful family doctor just hugged me as I cried when the took him away, Dave was such a rock for me, and the NICU staff would quietly just lay a reassuring hand on my back as I sat next to his incubator.  I had held him for 36 weeks and now could only rest my hands on him.  We are so thankful that Asher improved rapidly and was able to leave the hospital with me!  What an experience.  It all seems like a blur to me.  As we spent time in the NICU we were struck with how fortunate we have been to have such healthy babies.  Some of those babies had been there or would be there for months!  We truly have been blessed!  And, we were so grateful for such a wonderful NICU staff!  They were amazing!  We are all adjusting wonderfully and Asher has fit right into our crazy mix!  God is so good to us!!