Friday, July 12, 2013

Why Can't People Just Be Kind?

I have this little girl.  She changed my life 6 short years ago when she introduced me to this wonderful thing called Motherhood!  

She is my 1st born. She showed me a love I never knew existed.  Let me tell you about her.  She is...


There is one other word I would use to describe her and until a couple months ago other people would say this about her as well.  Now that has all changed  My independent and confident daughter begged for a pixie cut.  She knew what she wanted.  She didn't care that is different than any other little girl her age that she had met.  Maybe that's why she wanted it? I wasn't as excited.  I wanted that stereotypical little girl with hair I could style and put in bows.  She didn't want that.  She didn't like that.  There was NO good reason for not letting her cut her hair.  We did it.  We had a blast.  She LOVED it.  She was so proud of herself.  I was so proud of her.  Until she left the safety of our four walls.  My sweet daughter has been laughed at, pointed out, and teased.  She's been bullied.  For only one reason...she CUT HER HAIR SHORT! She went against the flow. Not in defiance or rebellion - in absolute confidence.  She no longer can go to the park, the store, a restaurant, or even church without someone commenting on her hair. There is no safe place outside of our home. Some have been kind, but most have not.  She is often called a boy.  Not by mistake, but in a teasing sort of way.  My confident little girl no longer loves her short hair.  She asks me most days after combing her hair if she looks like a boy. She puts bows in it - I'm guessing to try and stop some of the comments. She has handled it all with more strength and grace than I. It breaks my heart that she now wants to grow her hair long.  It's not because I don't like her hair long.  I honestly could care less.  It's hair! It breaks my heart because she still wants her hair short but she is already, at the very tender age of 6, experiencing the intense pressure of our society.  This is my child who doesn't go to daycare and is homeschooled.  It's everywhere.  It's unavoidable.  It's with God's grace we will teach her to face this society head on, maintaining her confidence and teaching her where her confidence comes from.

For you have been my hope, Sovereign Lord, my confidence since my youth
Psalm 71:5     

This is my sweet girl and she is...

It's only a short time until I will be bringing another BEAUTIFUL girl home who is going to look even more different than what society deems acceptable.  What will life be like for her? Why can't people just be kind?



  1. Well, here is why (some) people can't be kind.

    Some can't be kind because they are conditioned to fear change, or difference, and in the case of those who express that in unkind comments, their reaction to that fear is more important than the possibility of hurting someone's feelings.

    Make sure you let your daughter know that she is not the one in the wrong here. She is a wonderful person, and perhaps you can also take this opportunity to help her to learn compassion for those who haven't got the courage to deal with change as well as she has.

    You might also want to point out that there may be lots of people who loved her new choice, but didn't say anything.

    Other people can be kind. Make sure she doesn't come away thinking that the entire world is thoughtless.

    My $0.02

    1. Thanks for your $0.02. Like I said, she takes it all with grace and maturity. She does NOT think the world is thoughtless or even mean. She doesn't understand what is happening yet. This post was the thoughts that had been troubling me for quite some time. Her hair/appearance is not something we discuss daily. When things get said that hurt her feelings we do not dwell on them. We remind her what God's truth says about her. She is comforted by that and quickly moves on. She holds no ill will for these people. Her feelings are appropriate for her age. They are not thought out and articulated as mine are in this post. I can just see how the words are slowly changing her without her even being aware of it. But, like I said, it is unavoidable. This world will influence my children...for good and for bad! She still looks at the world with joy and loves people! Thanks for your thoughts!